Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
