I feel great
I just peed on a car
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
