I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
