and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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