Where did you get a picture of my penis
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
