just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
