I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
