My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
