I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
