I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
