He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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