apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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