Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He? As in you personified your dick?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
