the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
