I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
