Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
