Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
