Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
