Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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