Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize