if you like me you must not know who I am
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
