We're facebook friends in real life
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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