If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
