well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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