Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
