it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
