It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
