What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize