You're a womanizer and a bitch.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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