Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
