but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
