So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
