i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
