How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
