We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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