Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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