If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
