hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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