Dual....:-)
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
