Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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