so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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