you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Two words: nipple clamps
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