We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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