just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
