She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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