If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
