The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
