I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
