Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Randomize
