No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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