WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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